You may think that the groom has two jobs: popping the question and arriving on the wedding day. However, the duties of a groom reach far beyond these two tasks. Modern couples are more heavily involved in wedding planning and preparations. However, what are some classic traditions that every groom should know about?
Here at Twickenham House and Hall, we have compiled some of the most significant aspects a groom should be aware of in the wedding planning process. Through your engagement and even weeks after the ceremony, a groom’s duties and traditions are numerous.
1. Selecting and Purchasing the Ring
The longest-standing and well-known tradition is the groom proposing to his bride. Although modern couples steer from this, the man often decides when to take this life-changing step in the couple’s lives. With this question, the groom selects and pays for a ring specific to his bride and asks the big question. Although the proposal time may be a surprise, we recommend trying on rings together to gauge what styles, metal, and stone is preferable for the bride.
2. Bridal Shower
Congratulations! She said yes, and you are moving into a time of big life-changes, decision making, and commitment. During the engagement period, the bride will likely have a bridal shower hosted by friends or family. Although this is a predominantly female event designed to honor the bride and provide home-starting gifts, the groom historically arrives near the end of the shower. He presents his bride with “surprise” flowers as a time-honored tradition. After his arrival, the couple plays some party games and socializes for the remainder of the event.
3. Groomsmen Gifts
One long standing custom is for the groom to provide gifts to the men beside him at the altar. These gifts are a way to honor the party and show your appreciation for their support in your marriage. Some classic presents are a personalized flask, custom socks, or special ties to wear during the ceremony.
4. Marriage License
One detail that no one thinks about when dreaming of their wedding is obtaining the marriage license. Ironically, this legal document of joining two people is the entire point of the wedding! Traditionally, the groom organizes the details and pays for the license.
Pro tip: Each state has different documents, timelines, and legal requirements for the marriage license, so research and plan accordingly.
5. Bury the Bourbon
A longstanding, Southern tradition rooted in old wives’ tales is to bury a bottle of bourbon. One month before your big day, ceremoniously bury a bottle of unopened bourbon upside down near the site of your wedding. Tradition states this superstitious action will ensure good weather on the day of your nuptials. After the ceremony and “I do’s,” dig up the bourbon and share a drink with your spouse, wedding party, and families. Although burying bourbon is rooted in a fable, who doesn’t want some extra luck and a drink on their big day?
6. Wedding Day Gift
Tradition holds that the bride and groom exchange gifts either the day of or the day before their wedding. Many grooms are unaware of this due to the intimacy and privacy behind the tradition. Although no gift could compare to the vows of eternal love and commitment, the present should be personalized and timeless that the bride would cherish for a lifetime.
7. Wedding Day Dances
As a groom, you have two dance duties on your wedding day. The mother-son dance is often a tear-jerker, followed by the couple’s first dance as husband and wife. If you have two left feet, consider taking dance classes before the wedding or stun your guests with a choreographed dance. If that is not your speed, a slow waltz or sway is perfect for your big day.
8. Post-Toasts Speech
Following the touching toasts from the best man, maid of honor, and families, tradition states that the groom takes the mic for a statement of endearment, appreciation, and celebration on behalf of the couple. Not only is this a sentimental moment to address everyone you and your spouse love, but it provides an opportunity to genuinely thank those around you.
9. Honeymoon
Although more couples tackle the honeymoon-planning process and finances together, tradition holds that the groom selects the location, planning the events, and financially covering the trip. Therefore, communicate with your spouse-to-be about expectations surrounding the honeymoon and plan accordingly.
10. Thank You Notes
Following your big day, custom holds the bride and groom equally, splitting the thank you notes for their guests and the gifts received during the wedding. So be prepared to write numerous notes. We recommend sitting with your spouse and making the process fun! Share a bottle of wine and reminisce on your wedding day.
Along with countless traditions and historic customs in the wedding process, there are numerous tips grooms should be aware of for their big day.
1. Bend Your Legs
One important tip is to stay loose during your wedding ceremony! If you lock your knees, there is a significant chance you may pass out. Remember your ceremony and the intimate details while remaining conscious by keeping your legs bent.
2. Eat Enough Food
Ensure you eat all meals and snacks before your wedding ceremony to avoid feeling sick or passing out. Although nerves may be rampant and your appetite diminished, eating enough food and drinking plenty of water is crucial for your wedding day.
3. Seek Good Luck
If you and your spouse love tradition and are superstitious, chase all the good luck you can. Bury the bourbon, and do not see one another before your ceremony. Lucky or not, these traditions are enjoyable and timeless in the wedding world.
4. Stay Glued at the Hip
Following your wedding ceremony, all your guests and families will want to speak, congratulate you, and take photos with you. Although their celebration is well-intended, the masses can make it difficult to reconnect with your spouse during your reception. Therefore, make it a policy to stay side-by-side during your wedding day.